Death

You know I am not afraid of being dead, I am really not. I mean it's oblivion, what's there to be afraid of? I know that Woody Allen described it (in one of his movies, I don't remember which one) as something to be scared of but that's because he kinda thinks of it as being trapped in a sensory deprivation tank which is a big mistake. When you don't exist you don't feel anything and you don't know that you don't feel anything because... YOU DON'T EXIST.



But there are a few things that I am afraid of. On the top of my list is being trapped in my ailing body, surrounded by well-meaning assholes who just wouldn't let me die!!!


Don't get me wrong (as I am sure some idiots among you will), I love being alive. I really enjoy myself right now and I wouldn't mind staying that way for half a century, more even...  Right now the idea of being dead someday is extremely unpleasant and... frustrating... Mostly because I am curious about the future... How far will we go? Will we avoid immediate extinction? Some say that there is a major extinction event coming up soon. I hope for humanity's sake that they are wrong, but I am not very optimistic...

Anyway, as I said before, from when I am standing, nothing could be worse, than being forced to live when you no longer want to. It's about the worst kind of sequestration that there is. And I see people there all the time, either because they entrapped themselves in a religion that wouldn't allow them to take their own life, so they endure it beyond what anybody reasonable would think of as acceptable Or worse yet, they want to die but they can no longer do it by themselves and need outside help for it. But that help isn't coming...


Personally, I am my own man, I refuse to let anybody else decide if I am legitimate in my actions and I've taken every precaution that I can think of. First I did my homework and then I got the stuff...


Oddly enough it makes me happier and more optimistic, knowing that I can take my own life anytime I want and there's nothing that the bozos who think that they can decide for others in that matter can do about it.   


Plus I don't want to get any loved ones who would help me into trouble. So I won't breathe a word of any of this to my entourage, not even a hint. They'll be as surprised by what will happen as anybody else.

Of course, there's always the possibility that I'll be in a situation where I really can't do anything about it... If am totally paralyzed for example but that's very unlikely and it doesn't keep me awake at night. After all, life is a risk, to everyone, all the time. We just have to accept it.


Now speaking of oblivion. The idea is very unpleasant but it's nothing compared to the indescribable horror of living forever... I mean can you even imagine? No you can't. Nobody can but you can get glimpses. Like you could play every chess game possible a billion times each and you'd still be only at the beginning of eternity.

There's nothing worse than having done everything to death and still having an eternity to endure!! To think that there are imbeciles who think that it's something to be wished for oneself.


Anyway, to each their own... Or so they say.