Post by Odysseus on Sept 23, 2023 4:09:56 GMT
Partial (click on above link for full version):
Historians will surely mark this week as the precise moment American decline became irreversible, as John Fetterman presided over the United States Senate wearing pasties and a g-string, while Susan Collins go-go danced in a shark cage suspended above Josh Hawley’s desk. Indeed, at this point, the only thing preventing the total collapse of the nation’s economy is David Brooks’ drinking habit.
Kevin McCarthy was far too busy stepping on rakes and running crotch-first into furniture corners to meet with Volodymyr Zelensky, so he vetoed a proposed joint congressional address, which spared the Ukrainian president the embarrassment of getting molested by Lauren Boebert, anyway.
On a certain level, it’s not really fair to ask McCarthy to lead the House through a shutdown crisis. It’s like asking an emu to quarterback the Dallas Cowboys. But bless his heart, Kevin somehow always manages to blow right past my frankly cruelly low expectations.
I don’t mean to minimize the challenges inherent in corralling a horde of preening hyenas, but when you spend a week watching this clod repeatedly fail to coax his Republican majority into even opening debate on a freakin’ defense appropriations bill, you can’t help but think, “Hey, who let that emu out on the field? And how’d they get those cleats on him?” ...
Kevin McCarthy was far too busy stepping on rakes and running crotch-first into furniture corners to meet with Volodymyr Zelensky, so he vetoed a proposed joint congressional address, which spared the Ukrainian president the embarrassment of getting molested by Lauren Boebert, anyway.
On a certain level, it’s not really fair to ask McCarthy to lead the House through a shutdown crisis. It’s like asking an emu to quarterback the Dallas Cowboys. But bless his heart, Kevin somehow always manages to blow right past my frankly cruelly low expectations.
I don’t mean to minimize the challenges inherent in corralling a horde of preening hyenas, but when you spend a week watching this clod repeatedly fail to coax his Republican majority into even opening debate on a freakin’ defense appropriations bill, you can’t help but think, “Hey, who let that emu out on the field? And how’d they get those cleats on him?” ...