Getting kids to behave

Grade 6-8 boys tend to respond better to men as leaders. They want to feel like it's okay to be unique and maybe even a little rebellious. They want to be able to create a special name for the class (even if it's odd or weird). They want to feel like they have a little bit of control or direction, not necessarily over content but over how things are done.

Probably couldn't do this today, but I had one class in which we had the class decide what the "rules" were going to be. They created a lot tougher rules than we did. We collaborated and decided that if someone broke a rule, they had to sit in the "loser's chair" in the middle of the room, and everyone got to point at them. They took great delight in taking their turns in that chair. That probably wouldn't work long-term, but they had a lot of fun that day.

Later on, I was part of a program that had a main lesson, and then everyone broke into small groups. I had the Grade 6-8 boys. I told them to pick a name for the group, but nobody outside the group got to know the name. They picked "Gloop Group." It was like a secret club to them. Also, most of the other groups sat cross legged in a circle. So we lay on our stomachs with our heads in the middle, just to be different. They liked that too.

Sunday School can feel pretty lame for that age group, so doing different things (especially things that "the other kids don't do") is important to them, I think.

Here's the thing. You have to kick out somebody if they are too unruly. Otherwise the behaviour becomes acceptable to everyone else and sets the tone.

But here's how: you have to communicate to them that you want them to be in the class. But for them to be part of the class, they have to live up to the behaviour expectations. I would give three strikes (and communicate, "you're on your last strike"). If it gets to that point, their parents have to come get him. The second time that happens, he has to skip a week. But I would be communicating it like this, "I really want you in this class, but because you've consistently disrupted the class, making other kids not be able to enjoy the class, you're going to have to take a week off. But I look forward to having you back in the class the following week."

Here's another thing...outside the class context, have a conversation with them about how life is going. We had a very large kid in our junior high group almost destroy a smaller by running him over...more than once. It got to the point that he had to take a week off. We had a private conversation in which he broke down and started crying. He had had a really rough couple of weeks at school, struggling with his academics, sent to the principal's office, etc. There are always reasons for the behaviour.

Thanks again for your input and wisdom, Mercy. I hope it never reaches the point where I have to suspend a student. I know full well that some kids only attend because their parents/guardians make them attend. They'd rather be home playing video games or watching TV.

I think this is an awkward time for kids of this age. They're not little children, but they're not in high school, either. It was a lot easier when I taught high school.

I sincerely appreciate you. 😊

If it's a mandatory thing that is graded, flunk them all and let them explain it to their parents. If it's not mandatory or graded, throw them out and again let them explain that to their parents.  You're there to teach, not babysit. 

Christianity, like all Abrahamic religions, is patriarchal. If your pupils start off with the idea that women are responsible for man's fall, you are already at a disadvantage in asserting authority.

I feel so sorry for any kids unfortunate enough to fall under Jasmine's control, even if only for a few hours on Sundays.