Movie Quotes

Spartacus?

"I don't think I want to know a six-year-old who isn't a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don't want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don't have a college degree. I don't even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you!"

"Take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam."

"I like to carry it, you never know when you're going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home... then I'd like to know I have it. Not to kill, no. Just to maim. Take a little off the shoulder. Swish! The elbow. Slash! Shave a little meat off the old kneecap. Fowap! Ooooo! You got both kneecaps? I like to keep mine razor sharp. Sharp enough you can shave with it. Why I've been known to circumcise a gnat. You're not a gnat are you, Bug? Wait a minute, bug, gnat. Is there a little similarity? Whoa, I think there is! Ha ha ha. You understand what I'm talking about? I don't think you do. I'll be right back. Heh heh heh heh."

Yes, it is.

"I'm Buck Melanoma. Moley Russell's wart. Not her wart. Not her wart! I'm... I'm the wart. She's my tumor. My... my growth. My... uh, my pimple. I'm Uncle Wart. Just old Buck 'Wart' Russell. That's what they call me, or Melanoma Head. They'll call me that. 'Melanoma Head's coming.' I'm s... uncle! Maisy Russell's uncle!"

That, it is not. Even if you hadn't seen the movie, you could piece the title together from the previous quote. Still...here's another:

A: Where do you live?
B: In the city.
A: You have a house?
B: Apartment.
A: Own or rent?
B: Rent.
A: What do you do for a living?
B: Lots of things.
A: Where's your office?
B: I don't have one.
A: How come?
B: I don't need one.
A: Where's your wife?
B: Don't have one.
A: How come?
B: It's a long story.
A: You have kids?
B: No I don't.
A: How come?
B: It's an even longer story.
A: Are you my dad's brother?
B: What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
A: 38.
B: I'm your dad's brother alright.

Anyone else?

I cry uncle!
Or, I cheated.
So I'm out of it.

May we have another?